SumoJerky Review (January)
January 29, 2016
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| SumoJerky Review |
Going along with our theme of super macho masculine boxes, I bring to you SumoJerky!!!
SumoJerky a quickly growing startup straight outta Austin, Tx where beef jerky is probably the only thing they eat. Trust me, I've been there. They know their beef.
SumoJerky starts at 7.95 a month but can go up to 300 bags a month for a hefty 1,649 a month. For today I'll just be reviewing 6 bags that they've been nice enough to ship over to me to get my tubb on.
First Impressions
The amount of beef jerky aficionados in the good ol' U.S. amazes me, the variety, the textures, it's just a whole new world. So far I know of two types of Jerky, that's the chewy as hell kind and the thin crispity crunchy kind and I got the whole shebang in my crate today.
Righteous Felon Jerky
Che-Potle Guevara Chipotle Spice Jerky
Imperial Habanero Habanero & Garlic
Look at these guys, they look like they are ready to kick your ass. I also received the Notorious B.I.G flavor in this months Mantry crate so I'm already quite familiar with these kooks. The company was founded in 1997 by some funny dudes who were just really into Jerky. Their sense of humor is great and you can see in all of their packaging but their jerky is also very tasty.
Fatman's Beef Jerky
Maple Brown Sugar
Cowboy Style
On the other end of the jerky spectrum you have yourselves the 'classic' beef jerky. This jerky is thinner, dryer and crispier.
The maple brown sugar jerky was probably the mildest of the bunch and I figured it would be sweeter but the maple brown sugar really didn't come out as much as I had hoped.
Thankfully the cowboy style really came through in the clutch with an amazing crispy texture and the flavor was exactly what you want in your classic beef jerky. A nice smokey soy sauce flavor without punishing my jaws on chewing, I think this was my favorite of the whole crate!
Katie's Premium Jerky & Snacks
Seriously Spicy Beef Jerky
Now let me tell you guys a story. It was one of a boy who had some false bravado after tubbin' on that Halo Diablo Jerky about 10 minutes beforehand. Devouring some spicy jerky without blinking an eye this boy foolishly stared death in the face when he encountered this jerky. He didn't really notice the flames of hell on the cover, or the words spicy made out of pure fire on the packaging, but after one bite of this truly spicy nightmare his dick flew off into space in a blaze of fire. Once it returns the whole matter regarding the curvature of the earth will be finally resolved once and for all and someone can tell Neil Degrasse Tyson can shut the hell up.
In all seriousness, this jerky was the only one I was unable to eat the entire piece of. Hey if you're into seriously spicy food then this is meant for you, this is the holy grail of jerky. Do you see those pepper seeds in the photo? Yeah those aren't toys, those will mess you up.
Katie's Premium Jerky & Snacks
Teriyaki Beef Jerky
After the poor boy's tongue healed I finally tried the last jerky of the bunch. The piece on the right had an odd flavor, but then after seeing the other pieces I realized that this one piece was just underdone and was still smooth and meaty. The texture was kind of unique, but the flavor was off due to it not being full jerkified. The rest of the pieces were your standard teriyaki flavor of a slightly sweet pineapply soy sauce flavor.
Final Verdict
I really like meats, I like all the different things you can do with them. Beef is like pasta of the meat world, where the varieties seem endless. If you're a fan of jerky or meat then you'd really get a kick out of SumoJerky. You'll never get bored because every day those jerky vendors hustle and put out new products and I'll be happy to try them all.
sumojerky.com
Enter the code: CRATESPLEASE and you can get yourselves a free bag to try out for yourselves!
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